Christmas of the Nazarite

Merry Christmas!
         The vow is going strong! I've got six more days left and the anticipation of the clean face and the first of delicious beers and wines and liquors are dancing through my imagination. I am trying to not get too excited about the alcohol aspect because, seriously, this year was about God.
       This Vow of the Nazarite was about me setting aside the year that I've built up in my head over the past twenty years, the year of 'The End of the World'. I've speculated and dreamed and hoped and retired my hope to focus on more important things, but still cautiously watched the world as the date got closer. As 2011 approached its end and I became more aware of myself and my spiritual journey up until this year I decided to make a living sacrifice to the world. I always liked the idea of the Prophets of Yahweh and the crazy shenanigans they pulled in their days. Like when Ezekial tied himself to the ground for over a year, after he made an entire replica of the army of Israel. I dunno I like the drama of it all sometimes.
         Its been a great ride. The date of 12/21/12 arrived and instead of me sitting around waiting for nothing. Instead of hanging out with everyone waiting for nothing to happen and the talk about how we knew nothing was going to happen. Instead of that, for me and my family, the day was blessed. Not just for me and my family, either. For everyone else that shared that day with us, too. Not only did I graduate and get my diploma for years of hard work. Not only did I get to share that accomplishment with my wife and my parents and my brother and my wife's parents and all those that supported and cheered me on, but I also got to give all that glory to my God. Since Biola is a Christian University the ceremony had spiritual overtones to it that I've never seen at a graduation. The God that I know is good and that is ultimately behind every aspect of reality was given the honor and glory on that day, December 21, 2012.
       The concept in my heart and soul is far beyond the measly words that I have to grasp at to convey, but the day was made Holy for some of us that day and I am thankful that God did that for me. Again, words can not express the gratitude I have for the ability to get through this year. Yes, I didn't drink alcohol, and yes I grew my beard out crazy style, and yes I didn't touch or go near a dead person (five more days, fingers crossed). For me, though, I don't feel like I deserve the credit because it was actually pretty easy. It was more of a drastic example of what my life has been up until this point anyways. I just made the commitment and God fulfilled the other end of the bargain. But,that's what this year was about. Giving God, Yahweh, the God of gods, the glory instead of whatever stupid scenario my brain could cook up for the year of 2012.

     Anyways, a Christmas reflection as I try to remember the great I Am, Yahweh, the Lord of all, King of kings and God of gods..... especially with my quickly growing collection of alcohol styled gifts we've received over the last couple days.
     Merry Christmas!

Final Days

     The year is quickly approaching its end. This week is my graduation from Biola and it's crazy to look back at the road of life that has been traveled to get here. As I approach the end of the Vow I see how much can change in one year let alone the four years I've been at Biola. This year alone has seen so much change in my life and in the world.  
     This year has been fantastic on a personal level. When I first started at Biola I was still wrestling with the ideas of Christianity and still not sure if I considered myself one. I was still holding on to the ways of the pagans and Wiccans and didn't want to join the group of Christians becauseto me it represented Ignorance, Fear, Lies and even Hatred. Four years later I am confident in my faith and enjoy learning more about the origins and history surrounding it. I've been re-reading the Bible this year and will continue my Journey Through the Book until I get through it. I am thinking of doing a parallel blog of the New Testament since there are so many refrences and parallels that refer to the Old Testament and at the rate I’m going I’m not sure how long its going to take to get to the New Testament.
      I used to be a voice to challenge the faith and now I use my voice to support and defend it. Its such a 180 from who I was ten years ago when I set out on my life as an adult. This year has really opened me up to the ideas within Christianity and the balance of science and reality that need to be a part of that for a balanced spiritual life. I am still learning and won’t achieve my ultimate goal, true knowledge of God, until I die. Even then I may not know. I don’t worry about the afterlife too much. I try to focus on being a force for the Light in the here and now. What I have enjoyed about this year is that I've really taken on the challenge of bringing up the hard questions of God, and even to a degree Christianity, and presenting these questions to my non-Christian friends. Sometimes they will bring up the questions I've always asked and now I can finally try to answer them. Even if it doesn't change minds I at least can have the knowledge that I know what I believe and not just repeat what I've been told.

Samhain 2012

   October is finished! Woo! Ever since August time has started moving up again. The new job is to blame for that, I'm sure. Its been a blast working at the preschool. The kids all like the beard and are always sad when I tell them that its going to be gone after Christmas time. The beard is now just an annoyance and I can't wait till its gone. I will never be envious of the long beard again. I respect those that do it, and enjoy the fact that they can, but the long beard was not meant for this man. I'm still losing weight, too, it seems. Amber and I haven't taken as many progression pictures as I had hoped, but the recent comparison to myself at the beginning of the year to myself now is pretty funny. It reminded me of Tom Hanks in Cast Away. Ha!
     2012 is not disappointing either. We've got all the goods I've been hearing so much about since I was twelve; crazy earthquakes and weather systems, increased insanity and tension globally on social and economic levels, and so on and so forth. It could just be coincidence with the year 2012 being right around all the time of these big changes. A lot of these problems are as old as the Bible and we are just dealing with them in a modern context. Although, as far as all the crap I've been reading about 2012, I could use a little bit more alien interaction/intervention, but hey I'm happy to get as much as I have. Sheesh, not to mention we have one of the biggest and most controversial elections in our nation's history. Perhaps even more fateful than the 2001 election of George W. Bush! And to top it all off the date of my graduation falls right smack dab on the day that gets the most attention for the date of Change in the world; December 21, 2012. It's like my birthday and Christmas all at once!
    I joke around, but the truth is that things are pretty nuts right now. Politics, economics and even elements of religion are getting to a point where they can not sustain themselves at the rate they are going and must change in order to continue to be functional and relevant. It really does seem that we are poised on the tip of some kind of change. Its a change that's bigger than whoever gets elected as our President because no matter who the man is he is going to have to be a part of that change. Its going to be so interesting to watch 2013.

Especially with a glass of wine in hand.  

Yahweh's Temple

    As I get closer and closer to the end of this journey I am starting to plan and prepare for the final days. I plan to shave my beard as soon after the new year as possible. I am at a stage now where that concept is such a wonderful dream and I can't wait till it is a reality. Its not so much having a beard that is bothering me, but the length. I really just want to give it a nice little trim to clean it up a bit.
    According to the tradition of the Israelites the Nazarite would grow out his hair as well as his beard for the length of the vow. I decided that it would be too difficult socially while taking care of our finances since my job is in childcare and I might be able to get away with a beard, but a year's worth of uncut balding hair? I don't think so. The point of this exercise is not ostracization, but public sacrifice and commitment to my God.
    In the tradition of ancient Israel the Nazarite would come to the Temple at the end of the designated period and the high priest would shave his beard and cut his hair in the courtyard of the Temple in Jerusalem and then the Nazarite would sacrifice a lamb, a sheep, and a ram for their burnt, sin and peace offering. The cut hair would then be placed along with the offerings on the altar. In modern times the Vow of the Nazarite can not be fully realized and not simply because of socially complicated reasons.
     The main fulfillment of the Vow can not be actualized in modern times because there is no longer a Temple of Yahweh in Jerusalem to have the priest cut the hair or burn the sacrifices. I have been praying on this for the last few months to try and figure out a modern way to still keep the ritual of this procedure as Holy as possible. I am planning to shave my beard and keep the shaved whiskers. Then I am going to buy three lamb chops (if I can find ewe and ram chops somewhere even better) and build a little stone altar of my own and burn the chops and clippings on that. It sounds silly, but I love the ritual of things and especially the idea of connecting with an ancient practice of one of the first monotheistic religions. However, I have been a little bummed that there is no modern temple to do it in, even though I'm not Jewish, nor could I conceivably travel to Israel currently.
    And then last night I was doing my Journey Through the Book and I read something in 1 Kings that really hit me. It really hit me as a Christian, let me just say. I'm reading the Bible and currently in 1 Kings I'm at the part where Solomon constructs the very first Temple of Yahweh in Jerusalem. I was reading the dedication that Solomon gives over the Temple and it struck me that as a Christian I do have access to the modern Temple.
   I remembered that Jesus told the Pharisees that the Temple would be torn down, but that He would raise it up again in three days. The Temple was not destroyed till half a century after his final days on earth and a new one has never been rebuilt. However, I have heard many Christians link Jesus's words there as the indication that He is the new Temple of the new Covenant. It all hit me last night while reading 1 Kings 8:41-51 when Solomon talks about the foreigner who hears of their God, Yahweh, and prays towards the Temple.

⁴¹ “As for the foreigner who does not belong to your people Israel but has come from a distant land because of your name— ⁴² for they will hear of your great name and your mighty hand and your outstretched arm—when they come and pray toward this temple,⁴³ then hear from heaven, your dwelling place. Do whatever the foreigner asks of you, so that all the peoples of the earth may know your name and fear you, as do your own people Israel, and may know that this house I have built bears your Name.

⁴⁴ “When your people go to war against their enemies, wherever you send them, and when they pray to the Lord toward the city you have chosen and the temple I have built for your Name, ⁴⁵ then hear from heaven their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause.

⁴⁶ “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; ⁴⁷ and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; ⁴⁸ and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you toward the land you gave their ancestors, toward the city you have chosen and the temple I have built for your Name; ⁴⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. ⁵⁰ And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy; ⁵¹ for they are your people and your inheritance, whom you brought out of Egypt, out of that iron-smelting furnace.

All this to say that now I know that when I pray in the name of Jesus just how powerful that is. Not the selfish prayer of control over the circumstances, but the prayer of love and reconciliation that I try to do on a continuous basis.

I don't mean to get preachy, but it is on my mind and I'm glad I got it written down.




Off to work!!!

The Final Leg

     So, tomorrow is the last day of summer. The equinox is on Saturday and that marks the end of just about three quarters of my journey of the Vow of the Nazarite. Except for the hellish month of August the months have seemed to fly by. It was good to be involved in so many productions with the Maverick. I really love those folks and I feel like I've made some really good friends there. Despite the drunken debauchery that rages in that bohemian temple of Theatre I found one of the best foundations of support for my choice to take this journey. The encouragement has been enormous wherever I go. Even Monday night football, which is centered around the holy liquid of that amber coloured beverage Beer, has been understanding and accommodating to my own self imposed abstinence. Even during the draft, when I should have rightly taken at least three penalty shots of some of the foulest cheap whiskey you ever laid nostrils on, someone stepped up to take that shot for me. ::sniff:: Those brave souls. The Drunken Bums stand by their principles. 
     The Journey has been a good one. Health wise I have lost a lot of weight and I feel a lot more energetic than I did a year ago. The beard is really getting long now, and I really want to cut it. In fact, Amber has had to talk me out of shaving it at least twice in the last two weeks. I'm down to the last three months and I'm really starting to look forward to the day after the New Year.
     I've been so busy that I haven't had a lot of time for light reading, but I have managed to make it up to 1 Kings in the Bible, which is only 25% of the way through the whole book, but I'll blaze through the psalms and proverbs most likely and 1&2 Chronicles is mostly just a refresher of 1&2 Kings anyway. I've also been trying to broaden my intake from the spiritual to the non spiritual by reading some books by some prominent atheists. As usual I'm also trying to read a little bit about Islam in order to stay abreast of the world situation, but I haven't tried to read their holy book in years. I remember it was tough to get into and its non linear compilation made it hard to follow. Also, I read in the preface of the book that the translation itself removes the context of the power of it. It may be my project after the Bible, but right now I am more interested in the history of the religion and its beginnings and evolution over time than diving into the writings of their prophet.
      The political situation is reaching its climax, thank Goodness, and its really unnerving to see the state of our country. There is still no sign of a compromise between either side of the political spectrum. I would even say that President Obama has become more divisive than President Bush was at his four year mark. It seems that a lot of the things that Bush did Obama has done as far as foreign policy goes. He has gone after terrorists using drones, sometimes without the permission of the foreign countries that some people swear he wants to see succeed above America. On the domestic front it seems that the blame lies with the congress and not the president. The majority of the House and Senate are the ones that set the tone for the parties. Not the president, if it's a good one, because that person needs to be as neutral as possible.
    Well, that's just my observations anyway. I'll step off my soap box. I know we don't live in a perfect world. Its going to get a lot messier after the elections though. I can feel it. Like a volcano that has been smoking for a couple weeks, or a fault line inching towards a massive shift. The world is a powder keg waiting for a match and these days you don't need to have a high political position to have your finger on the Button. Even a whisper could set the world on fire....

The Longest Month Ever

     It seems like the time has been flying this year. Before I knew it we were entering into the month of August and another school year was just around the corner. However, this month has seemed like an eternity compared with the first half of the year. For the first six months of the vow I was involved in two productions back to back. First we had The Legend of Robin Hood which began rehearsals in January. That was a lot of fun and with work and Biola keeping me occupied I didn't have a lot of time to miss the alcohol. Right after that we went into rehearsals for the Hobbit. Even with the copious amounts of alcohol flowing back stage after the shows I was having so much fun and so preoccupied with people that I love that I seemed to breeze through the first half of this thing like nobody's business.
   Then August hit and the brakes slammed on tight.
    Not for any bad reasons, mind you. In fact, there have been some really great things going on in life these last few months. First of all the school I interviewed for in my previous blog ended up really liking me and asked me to be their new full time pre-school teacher. Also, I was able to get into some accelerated courses to get my Early Childhood Education credits so I can be more marketable as a teacher once I graduate in December. I've already knocked one out this past weekend and I've got another one this weekend. I've also been finishing up my Spanish II class and after this week will only have one final course of Spanish that will be complete by the first week of October.
    The down side to all of this is the fact that I don't start my new job till the first of September. Also, the first week of August Amber was gone for the week and it made the days even longer and more boring. Since August is the brokest month for Amber and I the only thing available for me to do is homework or watch netflix. I don't think I've ever wanted to be able to drink more in this whole Nazarite vow than I have this month. I've been strong though and able to resist that Gentleman Jack up on the top shelf just waiting for me. Mostly, I know that by now my body will probably not be pleased with me after drinking and the experience will not be one that I will enjoy as much as I think. Also, I know how disappointed in myself I would be since I've come this far.
    The beard is starting to bother me now. Its really long and bushy now and its been really hot lately. Strangely, its not my face that seems to soak up the heat. Mostly its my neck. Its like constantly wearing a turtle neck on only the front half of your body. I will say, though, the bald head has been very nice during this heat.
    I do find myself really looking forward to January more these days than I did a few months back.

Halfway Point

       I have now been doing the Vow of the Nazarite for six months. To me the time seems to have gone by so quickly which is funny because at the beginning of the year I thought the time would crawl by. The beard has grown in fairly well. Not trimming has allowed for a few uneven areas, but it shapes into a pretty good looking beard when I want to look presentable. Which I will have to do tomorrow since I have a job interview for a tutoring company.
      I've been reading the Bible chronologically and have made it to the book of the Judges. I've also been doing research into the history and archaeology surrounding the people and places that are mentioned in the Old Testament in order to get a better understanding of the culture that the Bible came from. I'm thinking of putting my notes up on another blog. I have really enjoyed having so much information at hand and really want to have a dialogue about the story and the creation of the Book without getting into a religious argument. I feel that learning the truth about the Bible gives us an even better appreciation for God's work through it.    
     The school year ended well with only one incident of beard pulling by the kids. It didn't hurt too much and I was able to diffuse the situation quickly, but I do need to be aware of the danger there in the future. The teachers that I work with in the SDC classes all know about the vow, but I haven't mentioned it to the principal or the other Gen Ed teachers. I hope it doesn't present a problem for the first half of the school year. I think I will always have this element of paranoia at the work place with facial hair. Working for Disneyland will do that. :-)


   Now on to the rant of the Nazarite. With all the talk about 2012 and the obvious ridiculousness of it meaning anything about the end of the world I can't help but feel a little eerie sense of coincidence with the path that we are taking as a global race of humans.
  After a rather quiet beginning of the year the world seems to be slipping further into a chaotic state. There are all kinds of really crazy and morbidly violent attacks happening with more frequency it seems. Family members killing family members over small disputes. The idea of a designer drug called bath salts had been blamed for some of the more crazy stories. However, the most popular story involving a man attacking and eating the face of another man has now been shown to have no link to the drug. In fact the toxicology report that was released showed that the crazed individual had no known street drugs in his system other than marijuana. Its like there's a tension in the air and it is making us all tense and some folks it is literally driving crazy.
    The madness is not just in America, though. It's all over the world and with the internet and social media it is being observed by more and more of humanity at a faster pace. Situations in the global economy are very bi-polar with agreements and compromises reached one day and then broken the next. Wars and revolutions abound with the lines dividing the 'good guys' and the 'bad guys' blurring with each new report of torture. The major problems of our time are met with apathy, lots of talk with no action and procrastination.
      You see the ideological hatred in a frenzy all over the world and each culture calls it something different. We fight between Shia and Sunni,  Democrat and Republican, between the leaders of nations or between the three main branches of monotheism; Islam, Judaism and Christianity. Still others war between Science and Religion or a many number of other things that only us humans are concerned about.
    If the Devil does exist and he revels in bringing about the destruction of Humanity then it is his handy work that is being observed at the center of all the conflicts of these dying institutions. If the Devil does not exist then it is even worse for us because we are destroying ourselves with our own power. If we have such a capacity for destruction and apathy for the lives of our fellow human beings what wonders would we accomplish if we focused our energies on construction and Life?
   Sigh. I don't know if we will ever get to a place where we will find out the answer to that question. At least not in my lifetime, anyway.

Man, I really could use a drink.

Easter 2012

For the past three days I have been doing a minor juice fast, if it could even be considered a fast. I have been using our juicer to make a hearty juice once or twice each day. Then for dinner I have a light and healthy meal.
   This morning I realized that tonight is the night that Jesus and his Apostles would have had the last supper. Coincidentally, I am spending the evening with friends and will be enjoying a nice dinner. In a totally unrelated purpose of gathering, by the way. It's movie night  :-P.
    I decided that in the Spirit of the Nazarite I want to observe this year's Resurrection Day in a more interactive style. So. Last minute I have decided to do a full fast from Friday until Sunday, honoring the days that Jesus spent being dead. This may be tough since I have performances of Robin Hood all weekend. I may not be able to do it safely, in which case I will eat something if the situation becomes unsafe. I would like to make it though.
   It's certainly not a new tradition I am going to keep every year, but it seemed appropriate to try out this year.

A Thirty Year Journey

     Since the moment I figured out how to use my body to propel myself forward into time and space I've been on a quest for something. I've never really been sure what that something is, but what I have been positive about is that it is important. When I think to myself what this something is that I desire most in the world the answer that I come back to is always the same thing; Knowledge or Truth.
    When I was just a little boy, around four, my mom and dad took me with them on their search for a church. I remember being so excited because they told me we were looking for a church to go to and when I asked what a 'church' was they told me, "Church is where God lives. Its His house". I got super excited about that and was very eager to learn the proper way to worship God. I loved learning the catholic ways to worship like how to cross yourself and how to bow before the cross as you walked down the aisle. I eagerly learned the Lord's Prayer even if I didn't understand what it meant.
        Life was a little chaotic during those years because my dad was out to sea a lot with the Navy and my brother, who was a baby at this time, was having some health issues that I'm sure took a good toll on my mom. We were never consistent with church, but I was told that Jesus was who we worshiped when we prayed to God. I also had some idea that God was something bigger than Jesus, but no body ever really seemed to be able to put it into simple terms for me and I never really understood what it meant to be a christian, let alone a Catholic which is what my mother said we were. No matter what, though, I knew in my heart there was a God and I knew that this God was good. I did my best to keep praying and doing what I knew was pleasing in His eyes.
     I learned to read quickly and I swiftly moved up in my level of reading and comprehension. When I was seven my parents began the process of divorce. I went to a lot of different elementary schools while my parents were figuring out their issues with each other while also dealing with life itself. Since I was so shy and had a face that screamed 'punch me' I spent a lot of time in the school libraries. I loved to escape into the world of books and felt that I could learn a lot about things from reading about the choices the characters would make and the consequences of their decisions. I was reading Christopher Pike, Stephen King, Ray Bradbury and Piers Anthony by fifth grade and read just about anything I could get my hands on. I was attracted to the stories that dealt with the concepts of Good verses Evil and humanity being a part of a larger battle between the two.
     When I was ten or eleven my dad got into Stephen Hawking and his brilliant mind and shared that information with me. I was so excited to learn about things that existed and find answers to the new questions I seemed to have every day. I began to expand my horizons in the local public libraries and seek out information about anything I had questions about; ancient history, world history, modern history, science, religion.
     By the time I reached the age of twelve life was pretty turbulent. I was now six years into the divorce of my parents and just beginning to hit puberty. I began to question everything that I was told to believe as truth because suddenly some things didn't add up. I had already figured out that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause were just fairy tales, what about this whole Catholic thing? I really began to throw out the questions then. Why do we worship a cross and statues of saints when the Bible says not to have any graven images? If God is so loving and merciful why is there a Hell and how could he send anybody there? If God is all knowing then didn't he know that Adam and Eve would eat the apple?
      All of my questions had less than satisfactory answers and seemed to be just an elaborate fairy tale. I decided to set out on a quest to find the True God, if that god even existed in the first place. It became my main drive at the age of fourteen and I spent a lot of time looking into the religions of the world. The only one I refused to consider or look into even further was Christianity. I felt that I had exhausted my resources in finding any truth in what Christians believed and so decided to pursue the other branches of spirituality that were available.
    In 1996 I was in High School and finally finding my niche. I was in the theater department and was actually getting a good crop of friends. I was living with my dad who was very encouraging in my passion for theology and I was still an avid reader. During the summer before my first year of High School while I was looking up books about Ancient Egyptian history and researching the use of Magic in history I stumbled across the name Nostradamus. I had never heard of any prophets other than the ones I was told where in the Bible, but I didn't even know much about them other than they were supposed to predict the future. That led me down all sorts of interesting paths.
     During those four years of high school I made the best friends I have ever had. I still know them to this day and get to talk to them on a regular basis. They were a great mix of so many facets that humanity can have and we were all young together. As we grew during those formative years we also grew into a shadow of the men would become. In this mix were Mormons, Agnostics, Catholics, and Athiests from all kinds of different cultural backgrounds. It was fantastic. We shared some amazing experiences and I feel that we all contributed a little something to each other's worldview. I believe we are all better for it, too.
    By the time I was a senior I felt I had the whole God thing pretty much figured out. I had decided that paganism was the only logical way to worship. To me it made since that since there were so many religions out there and they all were very similar to each other that there had to be some kind of all encompassing consciousness that manifests as different gods based on how it wants to communicate through mankind. I felt a strong kinship with nature and so I figured that was where God was. I became a legitimate pagan and worshiped nature as my God.
     When I graduated High School the world was laid open before me and I was free to do as I willed. This was a perfect recipe for paganism and I see why it is so appealing for the age of a 18-25 year old. I was free to do whatever I wanted because in Paganism there is no such thing as Good or Evil. There are just actions and then the natural consequences. Since I already felt that I wanted to live a good life and be a force for good in the world that worldview fit in real well. I had some amazing adventures and had some crazy times and through it all I still had my mind on God and wanted to be a force for whatever God was and an agent of His light, whatever that meant! I was such a confused young man.
    When I was Twenty-one I was involved with a young lady that was from a very conservative christian family. She was wrestling with her own struggles concerning faith and God and what it meant to her and we had some very amazing conversations. We each challenged one another's beliefs and on my part I began to reconsider whether or not Christianity was as invalid as I had come to believe. I finally was getting a better understanding of just what exactly Jesus was supposed to be, but I wasn't exactly clear why they believed it was true.
     By this time in my life I was very much into the works of Nostradamus and similar prophets concerning the future. I was also just getting into some Zecharia Stitchen theories of how the stories of the Bible and ancient Egyptian and Sumerian gods were actually stories about alien visitors to earth and their manipulation of genetics to create humanity. Somewhere in all that information I had heard of the Mayan date 2012. This would have been in late 2002 so 9/11 was still fresh in everyone's mind and there was talk of invading Iraq in the near future. I was very interested in the News Headlines because it was all a rehash of history. I found parallels in the headlines to references made in prophecies supposedly about our future. I was very interested in the events of Iran and Russia and the leaders of the countries of the middle east because it seemed we were all going to learn more about each other over the next ten years.
     2012 seemed like a logical time for the culmination of what I saw in the headlines of those early 2000s. The situation with the Palestinians and the Israelis has been going on since my parents were little kids, but no body really understands or cares why they are fighting. I was fascinated by their violence and when I learned that it was God that they were ultimately arguing over I became so frustrated. It made no sense to me, but I still followed the story.
    It was in late 2002 that I decided to finally read the Bible. It was the last holy text that I had on my list to read. Also, I was very interested in learning the Old Testament and finally getting a straight idea of all the stories I had been told all my life. As I read the story over the next year and a half I was totally entranced by the story. In it I found the God that I had been looking for since I was a kid. A miracle working God that destroyed anything unrighteous in His path, but also faithfully took care of those that chose to live according to His will. I still had all my questions about Hell and what Jesus had to do with any of it, but I did get a kick out of the fact that the whole book is almost a cyclical story of the Jews asking God for help, getting the help and the turning away from Him again which causes them to stumble and need saving again. Generations and centuries of this.
     As I'm reading this story so, too, is the story of our modern situation playing out. I find so many reflections of core belief systems that influence modern mindsets within the Bible. When I got to the New Testament, and made it through the book of Acts, I finally understood the whole story and understood the point of salvation and sin. I literally had a moment of light as tears burst from my eyes and my mind for a brief instant saw the divine Purpose for everything. Then it was gone. I still remember it though. It was beautiful.
    I became a christian soon after, but I still have those fascination about the things of my younger days. I still appreciate the beauty of nature and appreciate the spirit of paganism, but know that there is a higher way for us as spiritual creatures. I still love to hear the late night Coast to Coast conspiracies about UFOs and the End of Days. I still watch the news headlines and as we got closer to 2012 I couldn't help but wonder if there is some truth in the date. I have heard many say that it is a time that mankind will enter into a new phase of existence. I see the new ways we are connecting through the internet and through various forms of social media. I see the changes in the middle east, the Holy Lands, and the drawing in of the world to their issues with each other. Not to mention the atmosphere in American politics. Everything seems on the brink of something.
   This is why I chose to do the vow of the Nazarite for the year of 2012. If there is a change happening in the world then I want to be on whatever side of that change is for the Good. I feel that God is the highest representative of Good and the fullest expression of Justice and Righteousness. Since I have been waiting for the culmination of something and the current culture seems on the verge of exploding into something new I wanted to dedicate the year to my God. The vow of the Nazarite always seemed like a cool way to connect with God and its relatively easy. I just can't drink alcohol or shave my beard. I prayed and meditated on it and made a few tiny modifications to fit in with my modern lifestyle. The nazarite is not supposed to cut his hair, but I am keeping my head shaved as an act of maintenance of the vow. Another element of the nazarite concerns graveyards and funerals. They are to stay away from them. I am praying not to be tested on that element.
     I like the idea that my body will be a physical reminder of God to the people around me. Even athiests will have to consider the fact that I'm doing this for God and even if they don't believe in God and think I'm ridiculous they are at least thinking about Him. Also, every time I want a drink I can be reminded of something that I don't devote enough time to thinking about in the first place. To top it off I'm also re-reading the Bible and enjoying revisiting the stories. Its been a long road to this decision, but to me it feels right. I must admit, though, I really am looking forward to that post apocalyptic 2013 beer.

Three months in.

So, I have been doing the vow now for two full months and am halfway through my third month. It has been a crazy experience, but also very interesting. Not drinking is a little tougher than I accounted for. The first month was the hardest because at parties I seemed to be the only one not drinking. I am so used to having a drink at social gatherings that I felt like I was being awkward by being sober. It was a weird head-space to be in  when you are trying to have a good time with people you enjoy being with. I think Super Bowl was my big mile stone. It was the first big gathering heavily centered around mass consumption of alcohol. I had a great time and was able to be social without feeling awkward about it. I must give much credit to my friends, because I was very worried there was going to be a lot of mock temptation aimed at me or belittling of my life choices or something stupid like that. They were awesome. I felt very comfortable and had a moment of clarity and saw how much I was really loved by some really amazing people.

Also, during this time I've been re-reading the Bible, linearly. Starting with Genesis and moving through to Revelations. I have only done this one other time, but it was before I had chosen to truly be a follower of Christ and I did it by myself. What I read changed my perception of how I understood God, and Jesus, and eventually led to my choice to follow Christ. This time, I'll be going back and re-experiencing the story with the knowledge of how it all ends. I think that was my favorite part about reading it for the first time. I had absolutely no real understanding of the Jews or their history. I also had no real idea of how Jesus played in, I had always just thought he was a cool guy that said some cool stuff. Now I know all that stuff and I can look at some of the minor details and get a clearer understanding of what the Book really is all about. Another fun thing is that this time through I am part of a small group of people from different backgrounds and worldviews doing a read through of the Bible over the next year or so. I'm not sure who is going to last or even if I'm going to last (I think I will), but I really am interested in getting into some of the ideas and stories and seeing the different perspectives that emerge.

The beard is starting to get a little crazy. I started it back in November or December so it had a little bit of a head start, but I think this is the most I have ever let it grow. I keep the mustache trimmed a little so I don't look insane, and I will snip off the the occasional stray hairs, but for the most part I leave it alone. Thankfully Ezra pointed me in the direction of this wondrous ointment called 'beard balm'. Its great for keeping the beard in a socially acceptable shape during the week and it smells good, too.

I've been following the news and things seem to be heating up on the world stage. I thought that Israel would wait until at least after the next American presidential election before making any military strikes on Iran. However, there has been a lot of loud whispers on the wind that Israel is seriously considering major action sometime this Spring. That's not all that may explode this coming spring, I also am waiting to see what the revolution is going to look like coming out of this past winter. Not just over in the middle east or Africa, but also here. Is the Occupy movement going to reemerge, or evolve into something else? Is the Tea Party going to start up their craziness? I don't know. Its going to be interesting, though.